Today, I met my happy pills. It had been agonising without these dosage, because they’re an addiction. Their presence is magnifique. Getting to finally meet them after what seems like an eternity and each second of it was terrific! Listening to them talk about their new campus and new friends while hungrily munching on fries and slurping on our drinks. It then struck me hard that we’re growing up, a little too fast. All of us. Every second, every minute, every day. If I could be granted a wish, I wish I had never grown up.
All through life, most people just can’t wait for their big moment, to be conceded that they are now finally mature enough to take control of their own life. Anticipating the chance to be free and the opportunities that remotely seems intriguing. It is peculiar that I would chose not to age, if I had a choice. There are those moments when you randomly think about how great and awesome your life has been so far and then it will hit you. So hard that it hurts. It’s just too sudden. We’re growing up.
Life is full of responsibilities. School. Homework. Grades. Parents. Families. I have the procrastination attitude, always thinking “later”. One that has never benefitted me. After high school, it’s like walking into a completely new realm. The overwhelming shift of independence is a wake-up call that woke us up to fully realise how much we’ve taken things for granted.
Friends. It’s hard to open up to someone new when we’ve all been through the cruel phase of rejection and insecurity. True friends are utterly hard to find. Protecting ourselves from what we see as ‘the horrifying world’ and building up walls so we don’t crumble. We get paranoid that everything is bleak. The thoughts that repeatedly goes “How can I trust this person? How do I know this person won’t betray me?” Having survived high school, we know about fake friends talking behind our backs, lying to our faces and basically not being a friend.
Growing up is full of nostalgia. The hardest decision used to be which flavour of ice-cream I wanted to savour on that day. The goofiness and silliness of my happy pills is what kept me going. To look forward to a new day knowing that even though they are not physically present, we got each other’s backs.
If only I had a remote control for life. I would rewind, forward the sad times, replay the childish yet amusing moments over and over again, and pause at those moments that slipped too fast. Time waits for no one. That’s why we have memories. To at least briefly relive that moments that seem unforgettable.